But I didn’t. I thought back to just last month how pleasurable masturbation was but it didn’t have any appeal for me now, even though I had not had an orgasm for, how long had it been, I guess almost two weeks now? I wasn’t even counting the days as I thought I would.Most other nights I had been in emotional anguish so it made sense for me not to be aroused. But tonight I felt good. Darn good. I had made it through what I thought would be the worst ordeal in my life, and made it through gaining more love and kindness from my wife. I was free to do just about whatever I wanted. And yet the pleasure of masturbation just wasn’t something I wanted to do. What I really wanted to do was to please my wife by massaging her body.I was convinced that I was being brainwashed but I didn’t mind at all. It was frustrating that the chastity device kept me from doing what I most wanted to do which was to please my wife. I wonder if she saw the irony in that? Probably so.I went back into her room and. " I sipped my coffee and paced the room. "Look, Ellen, let's be realistic. Probably the most we can expect out of this meeting of the minds is that he'll have a lot more information about us than he's ever had before, and that it will give him something to ponder. We can't expect anything more than that he'll rethink the agency's policies regarding our kind. After we do our thing today, it'll be up to him to make the next move." OK, well say he does! What are we willing to offer if he wants to deal?" Yeah, that's the question, isn't it? We'll just have to wait and see how it goes. I remember a character in that old BBC series, "All Creatures Great and Small". There was this farmer up in the Dales talking about how hard it was for him to go the big city, saying he was overwhelmed by the number of people around him. He said he couldn't get going because he'd be taking big steps n' little'uns, big steps n' little'uns. That's how it'll be with us. We'll just have to feel our way.
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